9. I Miss Who I Was—And That’s Okay

Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and barely recognize the person staring back.

Not just because I’m makeup-free, hair in a messy bun, wearing a shirt with a suspicious milk stain. But because I feel different.

Before I became a parent, I was spontaneous. I could go for late-night drives just because. I could binge-watch an entire show, sleep in on Saturdays, or take a long bath without listening for a baby monitor. I miss that version of me—sometimes more than I want to admit.

I miss feeling light and untethered. I miss fitting into my old jeans. I miss the way I used to walk into a room and not immediately scan it for choking hazards.

But here’s the thing I’m learning: it’s okay to grieve the life you had before. It doesn’t mean you love your child any less. It just means that something really big happened—and that changed everything. Including you.

The version of me that used to chase dreams and take long naps? She’s still here. A little quieter, maybe. A little more tired. But also… deeper. Stronger. Softer in all the best ways.

Now I cry over baby milestones. I’ve learned to find joy in the tiniest moments—like when my child says “mama” with that pure love in their eyes. And slowly, I’m starting to believe that this new version of me? She’s kind of amazing, too.

So if you’re missing your “before” self, I see you. You’re allowed to miss her. You’re allowed to mourn what’s changed.

But I promise—who you’re becoming is just as beautiful. Maybe even more so