16. How I Found My Rhythm (After Totally Losing It)

In the beginning, I was completely out of sync. I felt like I was waking up in a stranger’s life every day—tired, overwhelmed, disoriented, constantly reacting and never quite catching up. The dishes never stayed done. The laundry kept multiplying. And the baby? He didn’t care what the clock said or what I had planned.

I was flailing.

I tried to schedule everything—nap charts, feeding windows, color-coded plans. And when that didn’t work, I swung in the other direction and let it all go. But neither extreme helped me feel any more grounded.

The truth is, our rhythm came when I stopped trying to impose one from the outside, and instead started noticing the one that was already happening naturally.

I started to trust my baby’s cues. I noticed when he was fussy, it often wasn’t just a nap he needed—it was connection. When my toddler melted down in the evenings, it wasn’t always about the toy—it was about needing closeness after a long day apart.

We built routines, but we gave ourselves flexibility. Bath time became our reset button. Morning cuddles, no matter how short, became sacred. I found moments—little ones—to breathe. To stretch. To see my kids instead of just getting through the day.

It wasn’t magic. And it didn’t happen overnight. But somewhere along the way, I realized: I wasn’t flailing anymore. I was moving with them. Still tired, still messy—but not lost.

Now our days have a rhythm that feels like us. It changes as they grow. It evolves with our seasons. But it’s ours. And that? That feels like a kind of victory.